I’ve sold out.

I got up today at about 4pm.  The only real reason I did was because the doorbell rang.  I opened the door to find a young Boy Scout.  Maybe 11.  I didn’t even see what the little douche was selling.

Some context.  I was in the Bull Shit of America from 11 – 18.  I was an Eagle Scout.  Technically, you are ALWAYS an Eagle Scout, but after their whole “we hate gays” thing, I sent them a letter officially renouncing my rank.  They sent a polite letter basically saying “It’s our club, we’ll do whatever we want, and we don’t like Germans [sausage suckers].”  And that was that.  I swore to myself that I would never, ever give them money unless I could verify that a specific troop had let gays in, thereby ignoring national policy.  I stuck to my guns.

Until today.

I was groggy!  What can I say?  Sure, what I WANTED to say was, “Gee, kid, does your troop allow gay boys and men to participate?” but I couldn’t do it.  What I did say was, “Hold on, I’ve got some singles.”  When I returned with my wallet, I asked what the prices were.  He said the cheapest was 8.  I think I had 6 in singles.  I didn’t tell him that.  He said the next up was 16.  What was my next denomination?


Fuck.  I pulled the 20 out and said, listen, I don’t live here, I don’t know if the people who do will want your wares.  So let’s do this.  I’ll give you this, you keep the merch, and sell it to someone else.

He stares at me.  What the fuck?

Then he thanked me, showed his mom, who also thanked me, and I wished them happy holidays.

At least I fucking remembered that part!  Had I said Merry Christmas I would’ve fucking shot myself.

I’ve sold out.  May the Non-God forgive me.


~ by Anton A. Hill on November 15, 2008.

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